1. PAINT YOUR ROOF WHITE
If your landlord says no, do it anyway.
Send him or her this video: Steven Chu: America's Secretary of Energy
If your landlord still gives you grief, paint yourself white, lie down on your roof and let the surface areas of you do the cooling. (See #2, #5)
Plan for future roofs to paint white (see above)
2. PAINT YOURSELF WHITE
So, according to Steven Chu, we will need to paint every rooftop in existence to add significant reflectivity. He says, "if you replace all roofs today with white roofs and you to cement style pavement isntead of asphalt pavement it would be a reflection of the sunlight back into space that would be the equivalent if you took all the automobiles of the planet for eleven years."
We completely agree with our nation's secretary of defense, but why wait around for everyone to get on board? Add white to every little thing you've got. If all you got is you, paint it.
3. WEAR WHITE
If its getting colder out, or if the thought of covering yourself head to toe in environmentally forward white face pigment makes you queasy... easy. Just wear your Sunday white best!
We have gathered some inspiration if your stuck in a vanilla ice rut: Glacial Fashion If you don't have anything white, turn it white. Hats are optimal because they are like tiny rooftops for your head. Wide brim hats are the best, for more surface area to promote light reflection.
4. GET A DUMP TRUCK: FILL IT WITH POWDERED SUGAR AND POUR MOUNDS EVERYWHERE.
Or find your leftover enriched/bleached flour. What else are you going to use it for?
5. TAKE UP SURFACE AREA WITH YOUR BOD
If your landlord was being a major DBAG and nixed the genius plan you suggested (See #1), plan at least 3 hours of your day, everyday day to lie down on your roof, on your deck, on your lawn, or on your driveway. Spread out anywhere the sun can hit you. Soon, your friends will notice and they will join in and yall buds should be able to create at least a football size field of dreams.
6. BUY SMOKE BOMBS (PREFERABLY WHITE OR LIGHT ONES). FIND DARK SPOTS IN YOUR HOOD AND SET THEM OFF. THE FOG WILL REDIRECT THE SUN RAYS TO YOUR BENEFIT.
7. PAINT EVERYTHING YOU OWN WHITE
That means everything!
8. FILL YOUR POOL WITH MILK AND HAVE A POOL PARTY
9. PAINT YOUR NEIGHBOR'S CAT WHITE
IF YOUR NEIGHBOR HAS ANY PETS AT-ALL, WHAT-SO-EVER, PAINT IT. YOUR NEIGHBORS WILL BE TOO SOFT TO PAINT THEIR OWN, SO YOU WILL HAVE TO TAKE IT INTO YOUR OWN HANDS
10. PUT A GIANT WHITE SQUARE ON YOUR CAR
Place a giant white square, stripe, or some minimalist design on your car, or paint it entirely. Do the same to your neighbor's car.
11. ADD WHITE SHRUBBERY
using your excess spray paint, house paint, tempera, or gesso. Find your old plants decorating the forgotten yard and spruce them up with some light enhancing white! Once you have painted all of your old shrubs, place them artfully around your yard. They will bounce light rays back to space while looking fabulous at the same time!
12. FIND ALL THE FOUNTAINS IN YOUR TOWN AND FILL THEM WITH SOMETHING WHITE.
If you had a great time at your milk pool party (see #8) and don't want the fun to end, then dump that milk in there! Whole milk, skim milk, soy milk too. Use your extra paint: acrylic and house paint work best, use dish soap! We all know it makes a beautiful white landscape when used in excess amounts.
13. HAVE A WHITE PARTY
HAVE A WHITE PARTY LIKE P DIDDY. GET YOUR FRIENDS INVOLVED! P DIDDY IS SO ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY! HE JUST PAINTED HIS HUMMER LIMO WHITE!!
